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Intimate Partner Violence

Ask Yourself...

...these questions about your relationship, filling in the name of your partner:

  1. Are there times when you do not state your opinion in an argument or discussion because you feel intimidated?
  2. Are you ever afraid that you will be hit?
  3. Do you participate in activities that you do not enjoy, because you are afraid to say that you would prefer to do something else for fear of reaction?
  4. Do you feel that you are not listened to and that your opinion is not valued?
  5. Do you put your values aside in order to please the other person?
  6. Does solving the other person’s problems or relieving their pain bolster your self-esteem?
  7. Do you find that feeling good about yourself stems from receiving approval from _____?
  8. Do you feel that your mental attention is focused on pleasing and/or protecting______?
  9. Are you more in touch with how __________ feels rather than how you feel?
  10. Are you more aware of what __________ wants rather than what you want?
  11. Does your fear of rejection from ____________ determine what you do or say?
  12. Do you feel powerless, as if nothing you do makes a difference in the relationship?  Do you expect yourself always to be strong, good, perfect, and happy?

If you checked:

1-2 boxes:
Talk to your partner about how their actions make you feel. Be observant of other warning signs.

3-4 boxes:
This relationship will probably get worse. Tell a friend or family member AND a professional about your situation – either a counselor or an administrator

5 or more boxes:
You may be in danger and you should talk to a parent or counselor immediately. DO NOT WAIT.

 

*Information taken from various sources provided by the YWCA, Office of Student Development, Kalamazoo College, Fall, 2000.